Jessica Klase
Professor Rowley
English 115
28, November 2012
Dear Reader,
In
the beginning I couldn’t believe it, I had gotten a two. When I received the
letter from the A.P. exam board I was so confused, I didn’t even know where to
start. I had worked harder in my A.P. English class than any other class, ever.
In fact I had one of the top grades, my teacher really didn’t worry about my
grade and unlike other student’s, our one on one meetings were very short,
there wasn’t really much to talk about. One thing that did make me a little
suspicious was that I had never gotten above a 5 in our class essays, but for
the exam if I wrote a couple of 5 essays I would pass without much trouble. When
I got the letter from the exam board I was extremely disappointed in myself. I
wished that I could have seen the broken down scores so that I would’ve know
where I went wrong, it drove me crazy. I also wanted to explain about why I had
messed up so much on such an important test but there was no one to explain to.
I was stuck, all alone, with a two mocking me as it stared back.
I
told my parents, and really they didn’t care as much as I did. I knew I had to
enroll in an English class, and I was at least glad that I had tested out of
remedial English classes. I had always know that my essays were a weak point,
as I had never gotten anything but what fulfilled the requirements to get an
“A”, which had been only a five in my class, on a scale that I knew went up to
9. I was resentful that I had to register for English, another class where,
again, I had to scrape through each and every essay painfully just to get
through, and of course I would have liked not having to spend money on another
English course. English had always been my hope to save money in college, I
knew that I would never test out of math were I was certainly nothing above
average no matter what I did, so English had been the only hope I had. As I
registered for the class I realized that it wasn’t as painful as I thought it
would be, although deep inside I still knew I was disappointed in myself. As I
registered for the class I realized that it wasn’t as painful as I thought it
would be, although deep inside I still knew I was disappointed in myself. There
really had been no one else that had promoted me to excellence other than
myself. I never cried but my estimation of myself went down greatly.
I
arrived at Cal State Northridge about a week early, as part of an orientation
week in my dorms. I was extremely excited to get to my first choice college and
I met as many of the other freshman as I possibly could. One of these freshmen,
another girl named Marissa, asked me about my schedule. When I told Marissa I
had English 115 she surprised me by telling me that I had to be amazing at
writing essays, and after that I never felt inadequate about my class again, in
fact I was a little proud, knowing that I didn’t have to waste time in a class
that didn’t count toward my general education requirements. I was astonished to
learn that I wasn’t the only one that had just barely missed the mark on their
exam.
English
115 was the first true college class that I ever experienced, it was first on
my schedule and I was so nervous while walking all the way from the dorms
through a campus that seemed so huge that I felt like an ant farm would have
been plenty of space for me to live in, let alone an apartment-style dorm. To
make matters worse the building that I was looking for was actually three
buildings that were all connected together into one giant mass. I walked around
for about thirty minutes, finally found my class, and walked in. The class was
not what expected at all, I had heard that nearly all general education classes
were in huge lecture halls with stadium seating and around three hundred
students inside. I was relieved to walk inside and find a classroom about the
same size that I had seen in high school. My professor walked us through
everything, let us go, and I couldn’t believe that I was actually that scared
of the class.
The
first essay I assigned challenged me but I soon saw that the techniques in
class I felt that it was possible. I got through my first draft and from that
assignment on I knew I needed the class, and that it was exactly the right
level for me. I had never written a personal narrative before, it seemed really
strange to me to be able to use the word “I” so many times in an essay, if I
had ever done that before in an essay I would have gotten an “F”. My teachers
in high school had seemed to be focused only persuasive essays, and maybe the
occasional expository piece. The narrative essay challenged me to put myself
into the piece completely, not just sit back and let my research or my facts do
all of my talking for me. This piece especially showed me that my pervious
essays had been nothing more than me taking what I knew and copying it down in
my own words.
The
second large essay we did was on a movie, and I must admit I had the most fun
doing this essay and I believe that it showed. I loved being able to tell my
friends and roommates that I was doing my homework, and then I got to just plop
down on the couch and watch a movie. Other than showing me that essays don’t
always have to be painful, this essay showed me that there really are no random
choices when it comes to everything the media shows us, a poster isn’t red
because it is a nice color, it’s red because the creator wants us to see and
feel the anger and the passion.
The
third essay showed me the other side of the lesson the first taught me; I can’t
completely ignore the research I have done. Not only is this a waste of time, it
also gives my argument no foundation and makes it easy to tear apart. In all
honesty I wasn’t excited to write a research paper or even research for it, but
like eating broccoli it was good for me. Through an assignment that lead up to
this paper I also found out that most people see me as an internet addict,
however in reality I’m fine without it. This paper, although the hardest for me
to write, taught me the most on the subject and about myself.
Overall
this course as a whole has shown me, through writing that to be as fully
engaged human being we need to look around us and not only absorb what we see,
but we also need to think about why something is there, we need to question
what is around us and every choice that happened behind it to give us the final
result. English 115 has given me not only better and more varied writing
skills, but also deeper thinking skill. In a way you could say that now, I am
really and truly thankful for that two with no explanation, and no argument,
just a gentle push in the right direction.
Sincerely,
Jessica Klase
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